Mental illness is not a choice or a result of bad choices. It’s real, it’s chemical, and if you don’t understand it, please don’t criticize it.
My friend Joanna has MI,my friend Joanna has ME. Mental illness does not define her, she deserves healthy relationships to keep her life balanced. Here is her plea:
“You know, sometimes my mental health feels like a rollercoaster. I’ve never been on one but I’ve watched them and That’s exactly what I’m feeling. That doesn’t mean I’m “unstable” or “irresponsible”, it simply is life. Please don’t see my mood swings as me, or as “just” mood swings. My swings are much more intense and out of my control than normal mood swings. I don’t believe that term does it justice. There is no way for me to predict, control, or “get a hold of” my moods. Its much more than “moods”. It is a disease. I am NOT exaggerating or making excuses! Please listen to my heart, and to all my fellow sufferers! This is a disease!if we could control it, believe me we would! Just because sometimes I act differently from my normal is not a judgement on me. Please look beyond this disease… This disorder that at random times overruns my brain! This is not me! I am so much more! Its not fun to know that people are afraid of you because you respond differently at different times. It is not fun to have to swallow meds, on schedule, 4+ times a day! It is not fun to see the doctor or therapist once or twice a week, just to function “normally”. It is not fun to worry… What will happen to my job…my home…my life…if yet once again my brain decides to malfunction. Please understand. The “laziness” you see…the fatigue…and then at other times…the mania… The “irresponsibility”, the “instability”…is not a choice! It is NOT a CHOICE! Believe me! We want to be stable! We want to be able to predict our next day…our next moment! We want to be able to build lives…successful careers. But most of all we want to be understood. Please, never, never tell someone in my shoes that you are disappointed in them, in us, in me. You have NO CLUE the struggle it is to daily battle the fear… What if I can’t do it tomorrow. I can do it today… But what if I can’t tomorrow? To battle the sense of failure… Once again … My mind failed me. I could not do it. I tried. I tried harder than you can ever know…or imagine. I am tempted to see my worth in my broken brain. The brain is the center of life and function itself. I repeat, you cannot imagine how it is to live with a broken brain. Believe me, we struggle to simply survive-bare existence. So please give me time. It may take me longer… I may need some more help… A few more “breaks”. But please, see where I’ve come from. See what I’m dealing with. Don’t See my illness as me. Why? Because I am not my illness!”
I have some close friends that live with significant challenges due to mental illness. I have spent countless hours in psych units. Unless you have put hours in at a locked down facility, you might assume you ‘get it’. Watching these people deal with brain and mind malfunction is enough to humble any human being. Be kind.