The Support Puzzle

In my dictionary, there are seven definitions for the word. Likewise, it means different things to different people. One of the foremost reasons for a support team is to create clear communication during a difficult situation. A good start would be for all involved to define what the word support means to them and what it means in their particular situation. These ideas need to be brought into agreement.

I have seen well-meaning support teams make a situation worse, I have seen well-functioning support teams have an individual walk away from them, the church and even from a godly lifestyle. An important factor for all to keep in mind is that the situation that has called for a team is likely an unsolved puzzle. In fact, it is like a puzzle one gets at a second-hand store or garage sale, you are never quite sure all the pieces are actually in the box (even if it says so on the tag). And like a puzzle, there are times when we think a piece fits someplace, only to find we are mistaken when we find the correct piece or place. And then to add to the challenge, you have several different people viewing the picture from differing angles. Sometimes that means they see something helpful, sometimes it means they are seeing amiss because of their current perspective.

So how can we build teams that are upbuilding and retain the dignity of those involved? Our churches have a level of accountability that is part of our community. The world admires the plain people for our sense of community and mutual aid, and it is a precious part of our heritage we do well to maintain. However, there are few outside our culture that will tolerate the transparency and accountability that is required for this type of community.

If the Apostle Paul had to die to self daily (1 Co. 15:31) then how much more do we need to? And giving up for the good of those around us is a supernatural even that overrides a very natural self-involvement.

And then discernment comes in, how much of me do I give up for another? How much of my uniqueness does the Lord want me to use for the benefit of His church and for His glory?

So, I am throwing out these thoughts to my readers, I would like to gather some input on what support team experience and observation you have had. In the book Holding Out Hope by Byler, Stauffer, and Byler there is a chapter on support teams that gives the input gained at Green Pasture and Philhaven. I would like to do supplemental writing on the topic for our churches and need the views of those who have been involved in support teams in any capacity. I am particularly burdened for those living with mental illness.

Brilliant Observation #101: Choices Have Consequences

Last evening I was not able to blog because I was away with one of my residents, Brother Larry. He gave his testimony to a youth group, as is his calling, about living with quadriplegia for 48 years and how the Lord has used it for good. The title of his program is Choices Have Consequences.

Larry reads his Bible by the hour not by the chapter. A Challenge that is good for me when I get apathetic about the power of personal devotions.

Larry is the second-longest living quadriplegic as far as we know, Joni Eareckson Tada being the longest at 52 years. Both have used their circumstances for God’s kingdom, coincidence or providence? Not even Superman (Christopher Reeves) with all his money, fame, and connections could pull such a thing off. Mr. Reeves focused on finding a cure for spinal cord injury and tried to keep himself physically ready for the day when his could be repaired. He passed away in 2004 of sepsis, a total system infection and shut down. Larry and Joni took another route- they both chose to use their wheelchairs as chariots of glory to God (I can’t resist this one… ‘Chariots Afire’). Larry’s disability is the result of a traumatic brain injury from oxygen loss when he ran his car into a tree at age 17. So his speech and limitations are more like that of Cerebral Palsey. But it doesn’t slow him down much. He wants young people to see that they are not free from consequences and can choose their destiny by how they live presently.

Larry gives his presentation to youth groups, churches, rehab groups and anywhere he can in our area of PA. If you would like to have him you can email him at lrdeck@gmail.com. If you want to know about Joni’s journey and ministry then check out https://www.joniandfriends.org/.

It has been an honor and a privilege to serve next to these soldiers of Christ. How blessed can I be? I get to wash Jesus’s feet every day!

Excuses: Dead-end of Springboard?

Brilliant observation # 267: THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO USE AN EXCUSE- AS A STOP SIGN OR AS FUEL TO OVERCOME A CHALLENGE.

Most of us are harnessed with an excuse of some sort. The problem starts when that obstacle is declared unsurmountable or off limits to change. I speak as an expert in the area, excuses where my fence of safety for more than half my life. And I still have to consciously battle it. If I thought that this was unique or unusual, I wouldn’t bother writing about it. This is a very common condition, a symptom of our sinful, carnal nature. I come across it most frequently in myself, but see it in other people too.

Photo by Luke van Zyl on Unsplash

People tend to seek me out for empathy when life gets messy and bewildering. Likely because I have a bit of a reputation for having been through the proverbial wringer a time or two. With my history of being a medical train wreck, a cultural switch hitter, a shattered dream survivor, a special needs advocate, and a vessel of amazing grace, I do attract needy people.

Photo by Interactive Sports on Unsplash

I have learned that there are people with problems and there are problem people. My husband used to call me a ‘freak magnet’ because all kinds of strays seemed to show up everywhere I went. I took it as a compliment; Jesus was a freak magnet too, so there has to be some good in it. Although mine would be more of a case in which birds of a feather flock together. Either way, I often meet up with folks that have a long list of why they are stuck in a hopeless situation.

An example is when someone wants to become a writer and the answer is: write and don’t quit. If you keep at it, you will eventually improve but if you give up, you face a 100% chance of failure. It sounds basic but it is true. Those who give up when they face an obstacle are the ones who view them as a dead-end instead of a launching pad for a new direction.

What I have noticed about the successful individuals I know of is that they plowed past their inner excuses. Instead of being defined by their problem or obstacle, the pushed through and became part of the solution.

Shortly after I was born again, I took on the no excuses policy and plunged into Matthew5-7. That is when I finally started to make some progress in my spiritual life. If you are wondering how it finally turned out, you will have to ask around at my funeral because I’m still being worked on by the Great Redeemer.

God Morning

This is a devotional written for Rest Ministries a couple of years ago. The used to have a web site and magazine for people living with chronic pain and illness. They have changed over to a Facebook group now. I really enjoyed writing for them.

Can a simple typo change your average message into something eternal? It sure can!

“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” (Psalm 119:50)

It was a typo; I was texting my son and missed a key. As I looked at the greeting, it took on extra meaning.

I woke up that morning with level 8 pain, unusual for me these days. My general pain level was under control, 3 or 4 unless I overdid it. This was what I called a freight train morning, slammed head-on right off the bat with pain. Now my typo makes me reconsider the phrase–” it is still a God morning.”

He is still here, He is still on the throne, and He has proved to me many a time that He is ready, able, and willing to walk me through a high pain day.

My perspective changed instantly. Now I feel as if the day will be somehow consecrated and holy. It feels like a day of privilege in the school of my Master. In spite of my pain, I intend to study my Savior’s face, review and drill in His word.

It may not be a day of high productivity, but it has now definitely become. . . a God morning! A God day!

Prayer: Lord, You have set me to task. I ask for Your grace to diligently seek You today. Help me to avoid labeling this as a bad or lost day. Rather, help me to flourish and bloom in knowledge of You. Draw me ever nearer Thee, Dear Savior. Amen.

Some Reasons I Love My Church

I was thinking about some of the ordinances my church practices and was filled with fresh appreciation. Many of these biblical practices have faded away in most churches, I am blessed to be with a group that has kept them alive and led by the Holy Spirit.

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Photo by John-Mark Smith on Pexels.com

Historically, the conservative Anabaptists have been known for upholding such things as foot-washing, the holy kiss, women’s head veiling, and anointing. From a contemporary standpoint, I appreciate them more and more as secular culture seems to leak into the church so easily.

Even in my congregation, the Holy kiss is fading off. My concern is that if we regard it as a social custom, we will soon view the covering as the same thing. So many churches already do. We take foot washing very seriously, and I am glad. It means so much more than a ceremony of going through the motions. You have to really stop and think about why we do it. And if we are really paying attention, we can work the concept into our everyday lives as we live to imitate our Servant Savior, Jesus Christ.

During my 20-year  journey with chronic pain and illness, my gratitude for anointing really grew. As complications and detours came along, I could relax in knowing that each one had come through the permitting Hand of my Father. I also gained a keener awareness that my journey was also a gift to my church. The act of anointing not only invited God’s hand into my medical situation, but it also gave the church body an opportunity to enter into it and reap the blessings and tears right along with me. I have never felt so ‘un-lonely’ in my life!

The fact that I wear a head covering is a testimony in itself that I believe it to be more than ‘just a tradition’. If there is interest, I will write about that transition in another blog soon. Thirty years ago, I felt I was the only woman in the county that did it. Last year I met a sister that lived on the other side of that very same county that was going through the same thing at the same time. Our paths never crossed until last year.

I would love to hear your thoughts on these topics or other things you would like to read about here. Please leave a comment and share what these things mean to you.