Joining the Amish - Brilliant Observations

January 20, 2020

Equal Opportunity

I am asking for some input and discussion here. I need help understanding a double standard that I see in the church. I admit that I do tend to side with the underdog in many issues. But in the context of “What would Jesus do?” , I offer these vignettes to my readers. Something is not adding up and I am trying to figure it out.

Allen is sixteen-years-old, his twin brother Aaron is in the 10^th grade and plays trombone in the high school band. Allen goes instead to a day program where his autism is better understood and accommodated for. His frequent seizures and vocal outbursts make a traditional classroom a poor option. He has sensory issues that complicate things when he is in a group setting. Even at church he has a special ‘chill spot’ to go to and unwind if he gets overstimulated. His crossed eyes and stiff movements make it more obvious that he has some special needs. His brain clearly functions differently than Aaron’s. To expect Allen to play the trombone like his brother seems unrealistic.

Cassie is in the hospital again, the voices told her to plant cans of soup in the garden. She was certain it was what she was supposed to do. She had to hide them from her brother-in-law Sam, because she knew he was watching her every move again. Living next door to your younger sister can be a pain- they are always watching and whispering. And now Cassie’s sister comes along and says she has to go to the hospital. Cassie wonders why she has to listen to her 22-year-old sister anyhow! Cassie is 26 and does not need a boss! So, Cassie ran down the street to get away from Sam and Esta when they wanted to take her to the hospital. Then that car almost hit her when she ran through the store parking lot; so people called the police. It just isn’t fair.

Five brains, two of which are not functioning in the usual way. Most people in plain churches would find it inappropriate to hold Allen accountable for his seizures and vocal outbursts. His brain is clearly working on a completely different level. But some would think that Cassie needs to show more submission to her brother in law and to take her medication faithfully. When she fails in these areas the church withholds communion from her. This only feeds into her belief that people are watching her constantly and whispering strange things. And in reality, some probably really are, so how is she to distinguish which voices are real and which are not?

Why do Christians shoot their wounded? Why is one brain malfunction treated more respectfully than another? Please comment!

November 4, 2019

Excuses: Dead-end of Springboard?

Brilliant observation # 267: THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO USE AN EXCUSE- AS A STOP SIGN OR AS FUEL TO OVERCOME A CHALLENGE.

Most of us are harnessed with an excuse of some sort. The problem starts when that obstacle is declared unsurmountable or off limits to change. I speak as an expert in the area, excuses where my fence of safety for more than half my life. And I still have to consciously battle it. If I thought that this was unique or unusual, I wouldn’t bother writing about it. This is a very common condition, a symptom of our sinful, carnal nature. I come across it most frequently in myself, but see it in other people too.

People tend to seek me out for empathy when life gets messy and bewildering. Likely because I have a bit of a reputation for having been through the proverbial wringer a time or two. With my history of being a medical train wreck, a cultural switch hitter, a shattered dream survivor, a special needs advocate, and a vessel of amazing grace, I do attract needy people.

I have learned that there are people with problems and there are problem people. My husband used to call me a ‘freak magnet’ because all kinds of strays seemed to show up everywhere I went. I took it as a compliment; Jesus was a freak magnet too, so there has to be some good in it. Although mine would be more of a case in which birds of a feather flock together. Either way, I often meet up with folks that have a long list of why they are stuck in a hopeless situation.

An example is when someone wants to become a writer and the answer is: write and don’t quit. If you keep at it, you will eventually improve but if you give up, you face a 100% chance of failure. It sounds basic but it is true. Those who give up when they face an obstacle are the ones who view them as a dead-end instead of a launching pad for a new direction.

What I have noticed about the successful individuals I know of is that they plowed past their inner excuses. Instead of being defined by their problem or obstacle, the pushed through and became part of the solution.

Shortly after I was born again, I took on the no excuses policy and plunged into Matthew5-7. That is when I finally started to make some progress in my spiritual life. If you are wondering how it finally turned out, you will have to ask around at my funeral because I’m still being worked on by the Great Redeemer.

January 22, 2019January 22, 2019

Our First Amish Church Sevice

We accepted Steve’s offer to attend an Amish church service. He really wanted us to understand the cultural and language issues that he had dealt with. We went to Catholic mass on one Sunday, and the next week we visited an Amish service in Holmes County. This meant a two-hour drive with four small children at 5 a.m. on a Sunday morning. That was the beginning of a monthly routine for us, We never went back to the local Catholic church, and apparently, they didn’t miss us much either,

We stopped at a rest area to ‘freshen up’ and feed the children and then went to Steve and Edith’s house. From there we walked with them to the next place down the road, a quarter mile or so. Our children were ages 1-6 and I was expecting #5. I remember enjoying the fact that we were not considered a large family. In our home area we were regarded with amazement or as ignorant for having “sooooo many kids”. Among the Amish, we were a small family. 46641093_10217734440657868_7448061895057080320_o

Church is held in homes and each family takes a turn hosting. This time it was held in a large open basement. The men and boys gather near or in a barn and the ladies go into the house or shop where services are held. Our coats were piled on a table and then the greeting began. Observing the holy kiss (Ro. 16:16, 1 Co. 16:20, 2 Co. 13:12,1 Th. 5:26) the ladies greet each other with a kiss and a blessing. The men greet each other as they arrive also. This is practiced among church members only, Edith would introduce me and I would receive a welcoming handshake. This particular group was very warm and friendly. They showed curiosity, but in a positive and down to earth way. Not all groups are like that, some groups stare soberly having no idea that it would be considered rude or uncomfortable to someone outside their culture. This congregation, and the New Order in general, were very open and pleasant. Socially they were warm and the light of Christ could not be missed. I had been among friendly and welcoming groups before, but this was different, like the tip of a deep iceberg, not polite social decorum. Later I would realize it was fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Edith was an excellent leader and walked me through everything. My fussy baby made me a bit nervous, he was on the loud side when he was not happy. This proved only to draw compassion and understanding from the mothers. I can still picture the pile of coats on the table. I wondered how they found their wraps when they were all black and identical. And atop the black mound, my eyes could not avoid the screaming red coat that was my daughter’s. Try as I would to ignore it, I could not.

We were warned that the service was in German. Steve had learned the language very well, but it took ten years. I remember who preached, a big man with a booming voice. I recall thinking, ‘I have no clue what that man is saying, but if I hadn’t already repented and come to Christ, I’d do it now’. And this is where things become completely subjective: somehow we knew, both us, that the Holy Spirit was present there. It is not something one can describe or explain, but most Christians experience it at some point. We knew. WE KNEW.

On the drive home, David told me that he really felt like we belonged with these people. I wasn’t sure what to make of it because he was strongly against leaving the Catholic church prior to that. And within the next week came the defining moment for me. David said, ” I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think we can stay in the Catholic church and obey the scriptures at the same time”. I was stunned at his 180-degree turnaround. He was not saying anything against that church, he was speaking on a personal level. Maybe others could, but we could not. We never went to mass again, when we were not visiting Holmes County for church, we attended a Mennonite service closer to home.

That week I also went out and got my daughter a dark colored coat.

The photo is not our family, it is an Old Order family from Lancaster County. Photographer Doug Hoover respectfully takes only candid shots of Amish people and avoids their faces. Adults especially. Check out his work at:

https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/doug-hoover.html?fbclid=IwAR0JEIpSwbHcJsGvxIEjvc6HVnILH_PT2txJfp4FA281hiDuaUMDGw1pCyU

January 12, 2019

Gone Buggy III

That Tuesday night with Lester and Steve in 1989 was a warm August night. One question we had was the difference between Old Order and New Order Amish. We would later learn that we were very typical ‘seekers’ (people from other upbringings that seek a deeper understanding of the Anabaptist faith) that assume that the most conservative the church, the purer and holier it must be. So those using outhouses and open buggies would likely be the ‘real thing’ and we were suspicious of this term New Order. What we saw before us that night threw such misconceptions right out the window. I will try to explain it the way these two men did, but I seriously doubt I can relay the tone in which this information was shared. And this attitude was something we saw over and over again in the New Order.

DH two buggies black and white

Photo by Douglas Hoover

About 25 years before, some of the Old Order brethren were concerned about the practice of ‘rumspringa’ and some of the fruits this custom was bearing. In 1989, the term was not well known outside of the plain people. They explained specifically, tactfully, briefly, and lovingly, which customs were alarming and why. A few families decided to offer the youth an alternative to sewing their wild oats: Bible studies and orderly hymn singings. This was met with resistance by those who felt that what has worked for generations should not be tampered with. Custom and tradition are strong bonding agents and they were fiercely defended in this case. During the process of people expressing their opinions, two distinct views surfaced. The group holding the Bible studies thought that the most peaceful and respectful thing to do was to start separate church districts. They were called New Order. Steve and Lester did not go on and on about the evils of rumspringa, nor speak condescendingly or unkindly about those who stayed with the Old Order. They spoke of how hard this was on extended families and showed absolutely no disdain or guile. We found the same manner when we learned to know more of the people in the New Order Churches. We also noticed that of all the plain churches we visited, this was the only plain fellowship that did not tell us what was wrong with all the other plain groups or why their way was better. That had a strong impact on us.

New Order is a German-speaking church and follows the same worship customs in church services. Some changes have been made but they are not generally noticed by those outside of the denomination. The doctrine of the early Anabaptists is upheld in both groups. New Order uses horse and Buggy, at that time most did not use electricity in their homes and any changes were subtle. 46914946_10217752818317298_1521604478002790400_o

The warmth we felt in this group was clearly of God, and God was clear in opening the doors for us to join this fellowship. Looking back we can see that He had it all planned out. I will always give my husband David credit and respect for being open to God’s voice and leading our family into a deeper more obedient walk in the Lord.

So Let’s hear YOUR thoughts and questions now:

German Language
Giving Up the Vehicle
Parents Reaction
Culture Shock
Hindsight
Warnings For Others

Please comment below!