What became of that Mamma V lady that used to blog?
I recently reconnected with an acquaintance from days gone by, we have writing as a common interest. I was gob-smacked to realize I have not posted since the twins were born. The girls are now 17 months old and developing well. They have had their share of childhood maladies but have come through each one well, by God’s grace.
Another personal update: I am back to school and happily invested in my internship. After a break in my Master of Social Work studies to process my husband’s death and covid in general, I’m back at the books. My alma mater, Lancaster Bible College has started an MSW program and I am thrilled to return there for my studies. I can not recommend it highly enough.
I will complete two internships or field projects. My current one is through HVMI aka HandiVangelism or HandiCamp. I have worked at camps and Bible clubs with this awesome ministry and they are now hosting my project titled Building Successful Support Networks.
I am including a description of the project here and would like the questionnaire distributed widely, so please copy and share. The more input I get, the more useful the summary writing will be for everyone.
In my dictionary, there are seven definitions for the word. Likewise, it means different things to different people. One of the foremost reasons for a support team is to create clear communication during a difficult situation. A good start would be for all involved to define what the word support means to them and what it means in their particular situation. These ideas need to be brought into agreement.
I have seen well-meaning support teams make a situation worse, I have seen well-functioning support teams have an individual walk away from them, the church and even from a godly lifestyle. An important factor for all to keep in mind is that the situation that has called for a team is likely an unsolved puzzle. In fact, it is like a puzzle one gets at a second-hand store or garage sale, you are never quite sure all the pieces are actually in the box (even if it says so on the tag). And like a puzzle, there are times when we think a piece fits someplace, only to find we are mistaken when we find the correct piece or place. And then to add to the challenge, you have several different people viewing the picture from differing angles. Sometimes that means they see something helpful, sometimes it means they are seeing amiss because of their current perspective.
So how can we build teams that are upbuilding and retain the
dignity of those involved? Our churches have a level of accountability that is
part of our community. The world admires the plain people for our sense of
community and mutual aid, and it is a precious part of our heritage we do well
to maintain. However, there are few outside our culture that will tolerate the transparency
and accountability that is required for this type of community.
If the Apostle Paul had to die to self daily (1 Co. 15:31)
then how much more do we need to? And giving up for the good of those around us
is a supernatural even that overrides a very natural self-involvement.
And then discernment comes in, how much of me do I give up
for another? How much of my uniqueness does the Lord want me to use for the benefit
of His church and for His glory?
So, I am throwing out these thoughts to my readers, I would like to gather some input on what support team experience and observation you have had. In the book Holding Out Hope by Byler, Stauffer, and Byler there is a chapter on support teams that gives the input gained at Green Pasture and Philhaven. I would like to do supplemental writing on the topic for our churches and need the views of those who have been involved in support teams in any capacity. I am particularly burdened for those living with mental illness.
I am asking for some input and discussion here. I need help understanding a double standard that I see in the church. I admit that I do tend to side with the underdog in many issues. But in the context of “What would Jesus do?” , I offer these vignettes to my readers. Something is not adding up and I am trying to figure it out.
Allen is sixteen-years-old, his twin brother Aaron is in the 10th grade and plays trombone in the high school band. Allen goes instead to a day program where his autism is better understood and accommodated for. His frequent seizures and vocal outbursts make a traditional classroom a poor option. He has sensory issues that complicate things when he is in a group setting. Even at church he has a special ‘chill spot’ to go to and unwind if he gets overstimulated. His crossed eyes and stiff movements make it more obvious that he has some special needs. His brain clearly functions differently than Aaron’s. To expect Allen to play the trombone like his brother seems unrealistic.
Cassie is in the hospital again, the voices told her to plant cans of soup in the garden. She was certain it was what she was supposed to do. She had to hide them from her brother-in-law Sam, because she knew he was watching her every move again. Living next door to your younger sister can be a pain- they are always watching and whispering. And now Cassie’s sister comes along and says she has to go to the hospital. Cassie wonders why she has to listen to her 22-year-old sister anyhow! Cassie is 26 and does not need a boss! So, Cassie ran down the street to get away from Sam and Esta when they wanted to take her to the hospital. Then that car almost hit her when she ran through the store parking lot; so people called the police. It just isn’t fair.
Five brains, two of which are not functioning in the usual way. Most people in plain churches would find it inappropriate to hold Allen accountable for his seizures and vocal outbursts. His brain is clearly working on a completely different level. But some would think that Cassie needs to show more submission to her brother in law and to take her medication faithfully. When she fails in these areas the church withholds communion from her. This only feeds into her belief that people are watching her constantly and whispering strange things. And in reality, some probably really are, so how is she to distinguish which voices are real and which are not?
Why do Christians shoot their wounded? Why is one brain malfunction treated more respectfully than another? Please comment!
